33. Walk in Wealth - Dark Feminine Codes w/ Christina Zayas
Buckle up for a conversation that promises to challenge your perceptions of wealth and self-worth!
Christina Zayas, a former influencer, shares her journey from financial struggle to empowerment, diving into the complexities of dark feminine energy and inner child work. We’re discussing the societal constructs that keep us in poverty, unpacking how our language shapes our reality, and why embracing our shadow selves is key to transformation. With a laid-back vibe and clever humor, we take a hard look at the influencer culture and the emotional toll it can take.
Christina’s candid stories and insights will inspire you to question the narratives you’ve been told about money and success. Get ready to redefine wealth and step into your power!
👉👉 And Christina's so overflowing in wealth, she has generously offered 20% off of any of the offerings you see here today, or you hear about today using the code FACEYOURSHIT --best discount code I've ever heard.
Links
Cultesh
Website: https://www.cultesh.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cultesh
Dark Feminine Codes
Shop: https://stan.store/darkfemininecodes
Threads: https://www.threads.com/@darkfemininecodes
The art of this episode is a reclamation.
Christina and I dive deep into the fear of visibility, the silencing of women’s truth, and the power of reclaiming your voice, body, and wealth. Inspired by my ovulatory phase artwork, Breath of Shakti, this conversation lives at the intersection of womb wisdom, trauma recovery, and dark feminine energy.
If you’ve ever felt unsafe being seen—this one’s for you.
✅CHAPTERS
00:00:00 Introduction
00:05:33 Influencer Journey and Challenges
00:11:11 Facing her shit- Alcoholism & Social Media
00:15:47 Identity Shifting
00:21:06 Embracing the Dark Feminine
00:25:22 Ovulation Art Piece
00:29:01 Money Language & Self-Concept
00:38:14 Inner Child Work is Wealth Building
00:44:28 Pain + Healing Resources
00:45:54 Via Rubra & Money Relationship Transformation
00:50:08 Spellbound + Being Seen
00:53:38 The Power of Asking 'Why?'
00:58:20 Biohacking with Art - Statue of David
01:02:56 Membership + 20% off
About the Podcast
Tired of being dismissed or told your pain is “normal”? So was I.
I’m Meredith Ochoa—ANOTHER F#%ING ARTIST, photographer, author & generational cycle‑breaker. After 17 years of endometriosis I faced my shit, healed myself, and turned the journey into art.
🩸 Face Your Shit, Heal Yourself is a movement + a podcast: Raw talks on healing chronic pain, hormones, trauma, endo, autoimmune disease and more.
We expose medical myths and spotlight the tools Western medicine buries—functional medicine, Reiki, Ayurveda, Taoist & sacred‑sexuality practices, cycle syncing, biohacking, and beyond. Episodes drop every third Wednesday with mini art‑process drops in between.
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Authenticity is the first dose of medicine; art is the second. Even though I was lied to by big‑pharma‑loving doctors; I found the experts & practices who helped me achieve what I thought was impossible—this show introduces them to you.
✨ Want to go deeper into your healing journey?
I’ve pulled together my most powerful insights along with practical tools, longevity + biohacking resources, pain relief & healing practices most doctors won’t tell you about—into one beautifully designed, free eBook.
Inside, you’ll learn:
🌙 How to work with your cycle instead of fighting it
🔥 What the mainstream gets wrong about PMS, endo & hormone health
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Transcript
It's like this story that I once heard of a woman who was baking a cake with her daughter.
Speaker A:And the mom and daughter are going through all the steps.
Speaker A:She has the sheet pan and at one point the mother, like, takes the.
Speaker A:The cake out and she cuts it in half.
Speaker A:Oh, no, she.
Speaker A:Something about her cutting it in half instead of using the bigger sheet pan, something like that.
Speaker A:And the daughter said, why are you cutting it in half?
Speaker A:She's like, oh, that's the way it's always been done.
Speaker A:I usually, like have two or cut it in half or something.
Speaker A:And she's like that.
Speaker A:We have a big oven.
Speaker A:Like, why can't you just put the, you know, use the whole thing?
Speaker A:And she's like, oh, let me just ask.
Speaker A:And she calls her mom and she's like, why did we always do it this way?
Speaker A:And the mom, the dog, the younger girl's grandma is like, because we had a small oven.
Speaker A:So I had to cut it in half.
Speaker A:But the mother didn't know that.
Speaker A:And so she was doing this now her whole life without even asking why.
Speaker A:And then about to pass it along to her daughter, who a wise girl, asked a question.
Speaker A:Imagine she didn't even ask the question.
Speaker A:She would have just kept doing it and then passed it along to her daughter.
Speaker A:And that's how she gets passed down.
Speaker A:Nobody asks questions.
Speaker B:It's like one of the most important questions you can ask.
Speaker B:Why am I doing this?
Speaker B:For every single damn action that you take.
Speaker A:Yeah, but, you know, I think people are afraid of the answer.
Speaker B:That's true.
Speaker B:Because then if they know, it means they may have to act.
Speaker A:Yeah, they may have to take differently.
Speaker A:And that also made me think about some people don't want to get out of poverty.
Speaker A:They don't want it.
Speaker B:They don't want to.
Speaker A:The story serves them.
Speaker B:Walk the wealth.
Speaker B:Walk with us today in this deeply rich episode as we delve into dark feminine energy, inner child work, and the societal constructs of language that keep us in poverty.
Speaker B:The powers that be don't want you to be rich, so hit the thumbs up button like you are slapping them with dollar bills.
Speaker B:Or even better, leave a comment below or share because it tells the algorithm to spread this message and it also tells them not to fuck with your money.
Speaker B:And if you're into awesome, raw, transformative art, everything we're talking about today becomes art.
Speaker B:So you're going to want to stick around through the entire episode, but also follow me on social to see all the clips that are connected to the messages that are brought up Today.
Speaker B:Today we are chatting with Christina Zayas, also known as Cairo Salome, the creator of dark feminine codes and the founder of Cultish, a platform devoted to shadow work, erotic embodiment, and the esoteric path of true will.
Speaker B:Dark feminine codes originated as a private transmission under the name Cairo, where Christina delved into the deeper intelligence of the dark feminine, transcending surface level tropes.
Speaker B:Through her work, she guides women in unraveling the toxic conditioning around power and reclaiming their full range, where destruction and creation exist in harmony.
Speaker B:Christina's path weaves decades of esoteric study, somatic practices, and raw lived experience into a body of work that initiates profound transformation.
Speaker B:And Christina's so overflowing in wealth, she has generously offered 20% off of any of the offerings you see here today.
Speaker B:You hear about today using the code Faceyour best discount code I've ever heard.
Speaker B:How's your hump day?
Speaker A:It's been pretty busy.
Speaker A:It's been really busy today.
Speaker A:A mess.
Speaker A:Trying to.
Speaker A:I was in this really interesting habit of dyeing my own hair when I was broke, and it became this ritual, and I'm no longer broke, and I could very well afford to get my hair done, but I just kept doing it and I ruined.
Speaker A:It's not ruined.
Speaker A:My hair texture is fine, but I have what's called hot root, so the top is warmer than the ends.
Speaker A:And I just booked an appointment.
Speaker A:I got my hair cut.
Speaker A:I don't know why I colored it.
Speaker A:I'm like, I. I've been doing it on my own.
Speaker A:I can still do it.
Speaker A:I can save money.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:I can afford to get my hair done, my nails done, and that was another thing I was doing by myself when I didn't have money.
Speaker A:But that's not the case anymore.
Speaker A:So correcting that.
Speaker B:Yeah, no, it's interesting because I feel like, well, when I was younger, I would do like I had.
Speaker B:It was always.
Speaker B:The hair was always the indicator of whatever state I was, you know?
Speaker B:You know exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker B:It's all with the hair.
Speaker B:So I would.
Speaker B:I mean, I had half my head shaved for years and years, and I had.
Speaker B:Would do that part just a different color or like, shave the whole.
Speaker B:But it was all dependent on, like, what was going on at the time.
Speaker B:And I was.
Speaker B:Now that you're talking about, I'm like, yeah, I was pretty broke during those days.
Speaker B:But then, yeah, I feel like I had the same thing.
Speaker B:Even when I started getting, you know, different employment that had, like, consistent income and stuff.
Speaker B:I Think it just got.
Speaker B:The colors got richer and like, the designs got more interesting.
Speaker B:Do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:I think with me.
Speaker A:And I even wrote a blog post about this.
Speaker A: I was an influencer starting: Speaker A:I can't remember when it ended, but I was an influencer for a while.
Speaker A:And I wrote a blog post called Emotional Cutter.
Speaker A:And it was about my hair and how I would cut my hair whenever I was going through a breakup or lost a job or something.
Speaker A:And anytime you would see me with a new cut, that was an indicator that I was in crisis.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So send for help, dude.
Speaker B:That's wild.
Speaker A:But I'm going through something well.
Speaker B:And honestly, to your point, I feel like that's actually why I've chosen to incarnate as a woman so many times.
Speaker B:Because it's part of like the beautiful and you know, polarity has nothing to do with gender, but the feminine polarity in that chaos or the cyclicality or circular, the non linearness of it of like being these different archetypes.
Speaker B:I feel like in the modern world that comes through with like these looks, with like the hair, like, whatever.
Speaker B:But it's so.
Speaker B:It's actually really wild to me that you were an influencer.
Speaker B:And like, that's wild to me seeing like and meeting you now.
Speaker B:What are your thoughts on how that landscape looks now?
Speaker B:Like, and so your relationship to social media, it's been fucking out of control lately.
Speaker B:Like Jupiter in Gemini came out, went to cancer.
Speaker B:But like, still it's been wild.
Speaker A:It's been a long ride.
Speaker A:And still being part of social media and having this very different relationship because I'm sort of pulled out.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:I guess I've always been a business owner.
Speaker A:The business was myself at the time, I guess still myself.
Speaker A:I've always been the brand, but I was selling myself more.
Speaker A:I was always selling my looks and my style, but also not having to say much, which was really interesting.
Speaker A:It was almost like the less I said, the better it was.
Speaker A:The more personality I had, the more it would cause problems and weigh on whether or not I could lose a campaign or gain campaigns.
Speaker A:Because if I had too much of something to say, too much of an opinion, then at that time, a lot of brands didn't like it or too many tattoos.
Speaker A:I have more tattoos now, but then we with half the tattoos, it was not okay.
Speaker A:At that time, I wasn't getting as many campaigns because of how tattooed I was.
Speaker A:And even though I was still booking campaigns with nars Bobby Brown, like really top brands.
Speaker A:And that's when I broke into the beauty industry.
Speaker A:And that started because of a really good friend of mine.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:When I start.
Speaker A:When I broke into the industry, I. I was working in retail.
Speaker A:I was in school for graphic design, working in retail.
Speaker A:A friend of mine said, you should start a blog.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:This is when it started.
Speaker A:And I didn't even know what a blog was.
Speaker A:She pointed me in the right direction to Brian Boy and Suzy Bubble and Man Repeller.
Speaker A:And these were like back in the.
Speaker A:This is really aging me.
Speaker A:I actually believe that on the newest Gossip Girl.
Speaker A:I forget her name.
Speaker A:She had a blog.
Speaker A:The Young teacher.
Speaker A:I forget her name.
Speaker A:I think she had a blog.
Speaker B:No idea.
Speaker A:She had a very strong opinion.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:I can't remember, but I remember my boyfriend at the time, he was telling me, like, why don't you have an opinion like her?
Speaker A:You have to stand out, say something.
Speaker A:And I was like, I can't.
Speaker A:I just felt like I couldn't because I wasn't backed by my parents money and that was always an issue.
Speaker A:So anyways, I started this blog because I lost my job eventually.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:I had nothing else to do.
Speaker A:This seemed fun.
Speaker A:In graphic design school, I was friends with a lot of web designers and so I learned a thing or two about building my own platform on iWeb, which is what Mac computers had at that time, this built in platform.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:And also MySpace helped me with a little.
Speaker B:I remember MySpace.
Speaker B:Oh yeah.
Speaker A:So I had this little blog and I was like, I'm gonna run this like an online magazine.
Speaker A:I'm going to write about fashion shows.
Speaker A:I do not want to be the face of this.
Speaker A:And it was.
Speaker A:And he's now my friend and he noticed me and he's like, dude, you need to come work with me.
Speaker A:And he had a.
Speaker A:An influencer agency.
Speaker A:So it was like the modeling agency but for the influencers at the time.
Speaker A:And I went to work for him for a little bit, end up leaving and then circled back when he joined Nylon magazine.
Speaker A:So then that's when it really took off.
Speaker A:I got some skills there and decided that place wasn't for me and decided to manage myself.
Speaker A:And I did.
Speaker A:And I worked for myself for a while and it was a lot.
Speaker A:It was exhausted.
Speaker A:The relationships with brands.
Speaker A:It did seem easy because once you know how to negotiate, which that's what they taught me at my job negotiating for these other influencers.
Speaker A:You know how to negotiate for yourself.
Speaker A:You have A template.
Speaker A:That's all you needed.
Speaker A:And that made it easy.
Speaker A:I was booking campaigns left and right.
Speaker A:I had the right relationships, but the circles, the inner circles, going to the events and feeling like there was this constant competition with women I didn't even know.
Speaker A:And there was this cattiness and the circles that felt like high school once again.
Speaker A:And then mix in my disease.
Speaker A:Alcoholism.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I feel that I ruined a lot of relationships with that.
Speaker A:With going to Hampton's parties and going to morning party.
Speaker A:The Hamptons was the really, really bad time because we would go for the weekend and I would get wasted and.
Speaker A:Yeah, really embarrass myself and embarrass the brands and.
Speaker A:Yeah, then I would always tell myself, I'm not gonna drink this weekend.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna drink this morning.
Speaker A:And then we would have a breakfast event, followed by a lunch event, followed by.
Speaker A:And I would never pay for.
Speaker A:My mom was talking to someone the other day about saving money, drinking.
Speaker A:And I'm thinking to myself, I never spent a dime.
Speaker A:I always drank for free.
Speaker A:I had all these events to go to, and I would always drink for free.
Speaker A:I was getting gifts.
Speaker A:And I lived a very luxurious life then.
Speaker A:But I was broke inside and miserable.
Speaker A:And then I.
Speaker A:Like I said, I ruined relationships.
Speaker A:I was always in this world of competition.
Speaker A:Women I thought were my friends weren't.
Speaker A:And the girls there.
Speaker A:Then there are a lot of women who would see the location that I'm shooting at, the photographer I'm shooting with, and completely rip it off.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:There was a lot of copycats.
Speaker A:Nothing you can do about it.
Speaker A:A lot of bigger influencers just completely hijacking your shit.
Speaker A:And because they're bigger, there's nothing you can do about it.
Speaker A:You're a smaller influencer.
Speaker A:It seems like it was their idea.
Speaker B:It's a game.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I guess that's never going to end.
Speaker A:But what changed for me was I finally started to wake up and I wanted to speak on what was real, because I was changing, and I wanted my content to change.
Speaker A:And I felt like the more I did that, the less I was finding work.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:Then I ran into a wall where there were a few things that were going on.
Speaker A:Less work, weird competition, weird women stealing my photographers or my location spots or copying the same outfit.
Speaker A:Just, like, weirdness all around.
Speaker A:And then finally one day, I was commenting, I was in a comment group, and these things were frowned upon, but you would be in an Instagram message group, and the girls would share their posts, and you would engage with it, and they would do the same for you.
Speaker A:And so I went to comment on someone's post and I got logged out of my account.
Speaker A:I went to log back in and Instagram had shut my account down.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:And for what?
Speaker A:Because I.
Speaker A:You're not supposed to do that.
Speaker A:But I wasn't doing anything wrong.
Speaker A:No, but it's just.
Speaker A:Was frowned upon.
Speaker A:But you were moving too fast.
Speaker A:That's what would pop up sometimes.
Speaker A:So I lost it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And there were three days passed and I hadn't heard anything.
Speaker A:And my mind is going because I'm like, what am I going to do?
Speaker A:What am I going to do?
Speaker A:I have to figure it out.
Speaker A:Because this was my bread and butter.
Speaker A:As much as I didn't like it and like all this shit was going down and I was complaining about it left, right and center, I still made money from it and didn't have any other way to make money.
Speaker A:So I lost this.
Speaker A:I was fucked.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And finally I figured something out where I had my best friend's boyfriend who worked at Dressborn at the time, reach out to his team because they were running a campaign.
Speaker A:And so they had someone at Instagram who was helping them manage the influencers.
Speaker A:He told them that I was one of the influencers and my account got shut down.
Speaker A:So they helped me get my account back.
Speaker A:So after three days, I finally got it back.
Speaker A:But in that time, by day three, I was like, is this even serving me?
Speaker A:Am I even fed from this?
Speaker A:I'm fucking starving.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:I'm getting chills as I'm saying this because I was not fed from that life.
Speaker A:And I had been starving for so long, it was just not serving me.
Speaker A:And I had to be really honest with myself.
Speaker A:And I was never going to be if that didn't happen.
Speaker A:Yeah, it wasn't for me.
Speaker A:It did its thing for the time it was supposed to do its thing for.
Speaker A:It took me to places.
Speaker A:I. I got to experience new things.
Speaker A:It really helped me in recovery because I. Yeah, the.
Speaker A:The opportunity.
Speaker A:So when I got sober, my sponsor at the time was helping me recover, rebuild an identity.
Speaker A:And she would ask, who do you see yourself as?
Speaker A:So we were identity shifting.
Speaker A:I had no idea we were doing this.
Speaker A:I don't even know if she knew.
Speaker A:So she had me create this archetype and the version of myself got up at 6am and she worked out and I was 20 pounds overweight.
Speaker A:I had hormonal acne.
Speaker A:I was.
Speaker A:Everything was wrong.
Speaker A:And she said, write down what seems impossible.
Speaker A:So I did.
Speaker A:And I get sober I move out of my mom's house.
Speaker A:And I remember it might have been a couple of months in.
Speaker A:I wake up one day, I'm getting ready to go to SoulCycle.
Speaker A:I got campaigns for SoulCycle, Rumble in New York.
Speaker A:What was the other Equinox free?
Speaker A:I was getting ready to go to a soul cycle class at six in the morning, and I was like, who the fuck is this?
Speaker A:Okay, I got what I wish for because I had forgotten about this.
Speaker A:I wasn't sitting.
Speaker A:And I guess this is what they mean by think about what it is that you want and just let it go.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Detachment.
Speaker B:Totally.
Speaker B:So it's free to come to you because when you're attached it, like, you're in resistance to it.
Speaker A:Yeah, there's.
Speaker B:It's, like, bigger than you in a way.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So it did a lot for me, but it was time to move on.
Speaker A:And where that took me next was because I'd enjoyed myself in recovery.
Speaker A:I decided that the next thing was to serve in recovery.
Speaker A:I became a recovery coach.
Speaker A:And I. I didn't.
Speaker A:My roommate, which was my best friend at the time, she's a coach.
Speaker A:She's a psychotherapist and a women's life coach.
Speaker A:And when the idea came, I thought, I can't be a coach.
Speaker A:She's a coach.
Speaker A:She might think we already have similar names.
Speaker A:Like, we.
Speaker A:Our birthdays are in the same month.
Speaker A:So I remember saying it to her, and I was like, she's like, dude, first of all, I don't think you can do it because you don't have the patience.
Speaker A:And I'm like, yeah, watch me.
Speaker A:So then I did it, and I loved it.
Speaker A:I loved it because, you know, in recovery, in the rooms, you talk to these women, especially in all women's meetings, and you can just speak so freely and share the raw, the real, and that that's where my heart is.
Speaker A:So when I work as a recovery coach, I worked with women who I can be myself with and share where I was in my life and the darkest points and how I transformed.
Speaker A:And they saw that, and I helped them see that.
Speaker A:If you know how corny it sounds, if I can do it, you can do it.
Speaker A:Because I was in the darkest places.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:You know, and I think that helped me also, you know, to talk about when you're in those.
Speaker A:When you've accomplished getting out of those dark places, it helps to remember that you did that.
Speaker A:And so telling that story again, that's also helpful for me.
Speaker A:And then them seeing that it's possible was just so transformative.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:It sounds like the visual I get when you are describing all this is just like this golden cage, but you, like, cocooned in this golden cage, and then you just, like, procreate.
Speaker B:You just, like, flew out of that cage.
Speaker A:But it.
Speaker B:It's like.
Speaker B:And I've said this to people that are like, oh, how to be an influencer or whatever.
Speaker B:And I. I'm like.
Speaker B:And of course, there's nothing wrong.
Speaker B:There's healthy ways and unhealthy ways to do just about fucking everything.
Speaker B:But I'm like, dude, a lot of those people are just owned.
Speaker B:They're not happy with their lives.
Speaker B:Like, they can't.
Speaker B:It's not about being you.
Speaker B:It's about being whatever it is for the brand or what.
Speaker B:I mean, there's so many different, like, shit, that could be a whole other episode.
Speaker B:Like the masks and different archetypes we wear.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:But, I mean, that contrast led you to the incredible work you're doing today.
Speaker B:Dark feminine codes, sigils of sovereignty, the birth of Cairo, which I'd love to chat about because it's just.
Speaker B:It's incredible.
Speaker B:And it's so important right now, the work that you are doing and that you're offering.
Speaker B:And I've been privileged to experience some of that, and it's made such a difference in my life.
Speaker B:But you wouldn't have the footing to even speak about any of the stuff that really moves the needle in terms of finances without having that perspective of, like, being in poverty.
Speaker B:It's like, I think people forget about that, too.
Speaker B:And we talked about it a little bit of, like, in order to, like, how'd you get healthy?
Speaker B:You were sick.
Speaker B:How did you get rich?
Speaker B:You were poor, and you became okay with it.
Speaker B:Like, the healthy person isn't, like, running around scared, like, oh, my God, I might get sick.
Speaker B:Because they've lived it.
Speaker B:They know how to do that, and that's what puts them in this financially sovereign place.
Speaker B:So I'd love for you to speak a little bit about just your unique approach with this work that you have out and embracing the dark feminine for financial wealth.
Speaker A:Well, where do I even begin?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:I think that first I'll start with the dark feminine and having embraced her in poverty.
Speaker A:And what that meant was going to, gosh, just being a dark feminine woman.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker B:Yeah, what is that?
Speaker B:For people that don't know how.
Speaker B:What would you say when we're using this term, dark feminine, that that even.
Speaker A:Means a woman who is a woman who dances with her shadows.
Speaker A:A woman who is okay with facing her darkness, comfortable with looking at it, doesn't shy away, doesn't whisper about it, truly faces it, is comfortable talking about it.
Speaker A:And of course there's going to be things that don't feel so easy always to talk about.
Speaker A:There's still parts of me that I might cry talking about because there were painful experiences.
Speaker A:My voice might drop a little lower, but I'm still not scared.
Speaker A:I'm still okay.
Speaker A:I'm still working through those pieces of me and still integrating that.
Speaker A:And I think that's really what a dark feminine woman is.
Speaker A:You know, there's the shadow aspect and I think that's what most people are familiar with.
Speaker A:The sexy woman, the woman who is wearing all black and red lipstick and she's sassy and doesn't take shit.
Speaker A:Yeah, there's that.
Speaker A:But really the core of who a dark feminine woman is is more about how she carries herself and who she is internally, not really who she presents herself to be.
Speaker A:Because that's a show.
Speaker A:All that shit's a show.
Speaker A:Anybody can put on a black dress and red lipstick and say, I'm a dark feminine woman.
Speaker B:Totally.
Speaker B:That's what struck me too.
Speaker B:What I was drawn to about the work is that it's so much about that embodiment piece and so much less just the undoing of this performance that we are like thrust into at every second in every day.
Speaker B:Like do that, like be this person or be this kind of character.
Speaker B:And even in those like authenticity world, it's like even that has like its own performance and everything.
Speaker B:But like that's something that definitely I got from the work, that embodiment piece.
Speaker B: like spiritual, like Manifest: Speaker B:Manifest your dream six figure career.
Speaker B:Like all that it's so much about doing instead of being.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:I also have a background in.
Speaker A:Well, because I circled back to graphic design and web design.
Speaker A:What started out as my space work for building my, my blog.
Speaker A:I circle back to it and now this is what I do.
Speaker A:So I'm.
Speaker A:I observe other businesses and I see that it's all telling you what to do.
Speaker A:It's all show, it's all visual.
Speaker A:But if you look at it, most dark feminine businesses are red and black.
Speaker A:They're all, they, they think that that's what it needs to look like.
Speaker A:They all need to look the same because that's what they think it is.
Speaker A:But no one is really embodying it.
Speaker A:If you really embody the Dark, feminine.
Speaker A:You wouldn't all look the same.
Speaker A:You're just doing what everyone else is doing.
Speaker A:And so to me, right there, that's.
Speaker A:That would be a red flag if I'm looking for a dark feminine coach to work with.
Speaker A:I wouldn't go for the typical red and black, you know, dark text.
Speaker A:It's just.
Speaker A:It's too obvious and it's too on the nose and that for me, it just.
Speaker A:It says, you don't know what you're doing.
Speaker A:You look like everyone else.
Speaker A:You're copying.
Speaker A:Yeah, this is the.
Speaker A:This is the blueprint that everyone else is passing around.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Not embodied.
Speaker B:Oh, totally.
Speaker B:So if you need a visual break, I want to talk about today.
Speaker B:AIDS sponsors.
Speaker B:Oh, by the way, it's me.
Speaker B:I'm going to tell you a little bit about why I created this show.
Speaker B:I created this show because I have lived it.
Speaker B:I faced my shit and healed myself by unraveling all of the medical and pharmaceutical lies I had been told about my endometriosis and was able to heal myself after 17 years of debilitating pain.
Speaker B:My experience inspired me to literally live my art.
Speaker B:So not only did I create this podcast you're listening to right now, I first created an ongoing art series about it called Every Phase.
Speaker B:All of the artwork you see in my clips and within this episode is from my Every Phase series, which will span for 13 years.
Speaker B:The pieces illustrate how I healed myself as I live by the phases of the female hormonal cycle.
Speaker B:So the artwork shows what's happening in the brain and the body during each phase and reveals how to biohack and leverage this energy in your life.
Speaker B:The art that embodies the exact message behind this episode has been behind me the entire time.
Speaker B:And it's a wild one.
Speaker B:It's called Breath of Shakti, and it lives at the intersection of cycle, wisdom, trauma, recovery, and dark feminine power.
Speaker B:This piece was created during ovulation, the bold, fearless, magnetic phase where you feel like you can do anything, be anything, say anything.
Speaker B:A time of visibility, expression, magnetism.
Speaker B:But for many of us, that feels unsafe.
Speaker B:Christina and I both know what it's like to be silenced, sexualized, and shamed for embodying or even speaking the truth.
Speaker B:This artwork was my reclamation.
Speaker B:A portal, a reminder that your womb is not a weakness.
Speaker B:It is a wellspring of power.
Speaker B:It's also how you access and reclaim your wealth.
Speaker B:This piece is a 22x30 original cyanotype, so it cannot be reproduced.
Speaker B:I use the cyanotype process, which is a process where I Use sunlight to expose the image in water to develop it to reawaken the womb, heart, throat axis.
Speaker B:This process itself honors the cycle.
Speaker B:Raw, slow and alchemical.
Speaker B:This piece is proof that healing can look like chaos, beauty and truth all at once.
Speaker B:Buy breath of Shakti and bring the energy of sovereign healing and embodied wealth into your space.
Speaker B:Link for purchase is in the show notes or Visit my website Another effing artist.com Own your truth, live the art, let your body speak.
Speaker B:And be sure as shit to listen.
Speaker B:If you could recommend out of some of the things I named.
Speaker B:So you have.
Speaker B:And they're so powerful.
Speaker B:You have sigils of sovereignty.
Speaker B:You have the dark feminine wealth codes.
Speaker B:You have undoing the language of lack.
Speaker A:Oh, you know what?
Speaker B:That was a spell.
Speaker B:That was another piece that it is infused in our language.
Speaker B:Like so much you don't even realize that what you're saying is putting you below everything else and putting everything else above you.
Speaker B:And then it becomes ingrained in your beingness.
Speaker B:So it's like embodying that and how you're speaking.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:They go hand in hand.
Speaker A:That one was my favorite and it needed to be included in the offers because you can know with your mind, with your conscious mind.
Speaker A:The steps.
Speaker A:And that was something that I experienced when I was working on my money mindset.
Speaker A:I knew with my mind what I should do because I learned it.
Speaker A:I was taking courses and downloading workbooks and I knew the steps, but something still wasn't changing and I couldn't figure out what it is.
Speaker A:And in my day to day.
Speaker A:And that's what happens in our day to day.
Speaker A:It's these small behaviors.
Speaker A:The way we talk to ourselves.
Speaker A:More importantly, the way that we think.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Because we can control what comes out of our mouths, but how we think.
Speaker A:And I would catch myself, I would be doing the dishes and that was.
Speaker A:There's something about me and doing the dishes because I'll be there in La La Land.
Speaker A:And just go on this tangent in my mind and I'm just having these conversations and she did this and.
Speaker A:And that's for me, that's where I would spend the most time now.
Speaker A:Correcting myself in the loving way.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:The coach steps in.
Speaker A:The psychotherapist, the, you know, whatever the higher self, the role, the.
Speaker A:The leader comes in and she's like, no, I'm going to challenge you now.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Why do you need to say it that way?
Speaker A:And I would think, and I remember reading this book also.
Speaker A:I just pulled it out of.
Speaker A:Of this stockpile of books that I was donating, but it was about language and about what to say instead.
Speaker A:And that stuck with me.
Speaker A:I never finished reading it because I found it so hard.
Speaker A:It was so difficult.
Speaker A:I remember when I first read it, I was really excited about it.
Speaker A:And I read the first couple of chapters, and I go out for the day, and I meet this guy, stops me in the street, and he's talking to me, guys, tongue tied.
Speaker A:Because everything I said was a problem, literally problematic, Everything that came out of my mouth, and I'm like, I'm so sorry.
Speaker A:I'm reading this book about language, and I'm working on correcting it, and I'm catching it as I'm saying it, which is great.
Speaker A:But excuse me, it might take me a moment to speak to you.
Speaker A:And so he's like, don't worry.
Speaker A:Take your time.
Speaker A:It works that, you know, I'm attractive, and so it's forgivable.
Speaker A:You know, it can do anything weird.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:But, you know, but that's important.
Speaker A:It's important to catch yourself and correct yourself.
Speaker A:And then, you know, with the.
Speaker A:With the language workbook there, I think there's an aspect where you can journal to just write it down as well, because when you catch yourself putting pen to paper, you might.
Speaker A:If you think of it, and I know that happens with me, I might make a mental note, but I forget my mental notes all the time, but the moment I write it down, it somehow sticks.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's an important aspect.
Speaker B:I agree completely.
Speaker B:And those prompts you have in there, this isn't like your affirmation.
Speaker B:And I mean, yeah, there's.
Speaker B:I remember writing down some prompts or there's like, a section where I think one of my favorite ones, and I had it on my mirror, and I still say it to myself, was like the rushing piece.
Speaker B:Like, I don't rush.
Speaker B:Like, I attract.
Speaker B:Like, I'm standing in here.
Speaker B:Like, I walk in wealth.
Speaker B:I speak from power that, like, I just had it in my.
Speaker B:Because it resonated with me.
Speaker B:I mean, there's so many golden nuggets in these prompts, But I walk in wealth.
Speaker B:I speak from power.
Speaker B:I belong in every room that I enter.
Speaker B:I belong here.
Speaker B:I belong in my body.
Speaker B:And that some of the.
Speaker B:It's just very poetic.
Speaker B:Not only is it poetic and beautiful, the words that you've written, but it's true.
Speaker B:And it hits you in a different way in your bones, in your soul, and doing that, writing it, and then having the prompts.
Speaker B:I remember at night, too, like, connecting this ritual and this is part of like undoing the spell is part of obviously doing the money magic, but it's part of undoing the spell is recognizing.
Speaker B:Because having is the opposite of lacking.
Speaker B:That's what I got a lot from from doing.
Speaker B:Undoing the language of lack.
Speaker B:Okay, what is the opposite of that?
Speaker B:And at night I would write down like, okay, it was like one thing, one way money came to you or through you today.
Speaker B:One thing or one moment you chose power instead of fear and then I was like one thing you were grateful for or something.
Speaker B:But it was the piece about when you start noticing, okay, how did it come to or through me that then your energy goes.
Speaker B:Even if it's like, okay, I got a free bag of chips like at the sandwich, like that's money.
Speaker B:It's like thinking about it where now you're seeing all the abundance and now you're seeing, now you're baby stepping your way to this gratitude and that's like you already have it.
Speaker B:You don't need to perform.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:It also reminds me of something I taught through my other coaching brand business Cultish.
Speaker A:And that was a self concept course.
Speaker A:It was a 14 day challenge and that kicked the girls asses.
Speaker A:14 days.
Speaker A:We met every single day live.
Speaker A:And I know that it transformed their lives because it made them really see how they were showing up for themselves, how they were talking to themselves and how they were really seeing themselves as valuable, as deserving, how they were rejecting what it is they truly wanted and then making peace with I don't think I deserve, I am rejecting.
Speaker A:And also I think that there's something a lot of people on my dark covenant codes threads account people would say to me and that is that they come from poverty or the system is broken or it's essentially not them.
Speaker A:And I feel that.
Speaker A:I believe that.
Speaker A:And a lot of people may not believe this.
Speaker A:I believe that we are born into these situations so that we can figure out a way to get out of it.
Speaker A:That is our tikkun.
Speaker A:That is the reason why we were born.
Speaker A:That is our soul's correction.
Speaker A:We're meant to get out of it, not stay in it, not complain about it.
Speaker A:And it's not to say too bad, get over it, but to empower people.
Speaker A:Here are the tools.
Speaker A:Here are the tools.
Speaker A:They're not going to be free always.
Speaker A:And if they're free, they're probably not going to be that good.
Speaker A:But you know, I have, I have those sigils, you know, it's.
Speaker A:It's free.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:The thing is like when we are as creatives, when we are creating something to help people, we're putting a lot of work into it.
Speaker A:And so there's gotta be an exchange.
Speaker A:Yeah, there's gotta be an exchange.
Speaker A:And so there's, you know, I, I did my best to price.
Speaker A:I'm looking at my, my little workbooks now.
Speaker A:They're priced pretty reasonably.
Speaker A:And look, I understand.
Speaker A:I was so broke last year that I couldn't afford toilet paper.
Speaker A:I was so broke and I was looking for all the free everything.
Speaker A:And I knew, I knew what it was when you look for free, what it really is.
Speaker A:I did find good free things and not so good free things in it.
Speaker A:And I would say to myself, well, you beggars can't be juices or you know, you get what you get.
Speaker A:But when you are in that mindset for so long of, and this is to my dark feminine cools followers, you start to believe it.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's like imagine being an undercover agent and you've been in this identity of this over overco undercover agent for so long that you really believe that's who you are.
Speaker B:Yes, you believe it.
Speaker A:And yeah, they, people are coming to visit you and say, okay, it's time to leave, to go back to your real life.
Speaker A:And you're like, no, this is me.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:But they're trying to shake you out of it and wake you up.
Speaker A:That's not who you are.
Speaker B:Get up.
Speaker A:And these are the tools.
Speaker A:And the tools are meant to wake people up, get them out of that.
Speaker A:This is not who they are.
Speaker A:They're not meant to stay there.
Speaker A:They're meant to get the fuck up and use the tools to help themselves.
Speaker A:Yes, they were born into a fucked up system.
Speaker A:Yes, they were born into poverty.
Speaker A:Yes, this is the hand that they've been dealt.
Speaker A:But they're not meant to stay there.
Speaker A:Yeah, you know.
Speaker B:Oh, totally.
Speaker B:And you're.
Speaker B:We are part of the change.
Speaker B:Everything.
Speaker B:Like you're part of the change.
Speaker B:Feeling it and experiencing that contrast enables you to alchemize it, to take that and turn it to gold, literally.
Speaker B:Because it's just unrealized power.
Speaker B:All of it.
Speaker B:It's unrealized.
Speaker B:It's unrealized.
Speaker B:And that's why they're suffering.
Speaker B:And that's what, that's why we suffer through it.
Speaker B:But like you said, it's necessary to not bypass yourself to feel it.
Speaker B:You gotta be real.
Speaker B:Because everything has to start from truth.
Speaker B:And that's the issue.
Speaker B:I feel like with so much other money shit out there today, it doesn't start from a place of truth.
Speaker B:It starts from a place of pretending that these issues aren't there, that it's not in.
Speaker B:It's like you can still have your feelings.
Speaker B:Whether or not they're true, it doesn't really matter.
Speaker B:They're valid.
Speaker B:They're valid because you are feeling them.
Speaker B:They're real, and they actually enable you to reach that level of truth.
Speaker B:And that kind of gets into, like, inner child work.
Speaker B:And I know that has so much to do with our wealth state.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:We chatted about it a little bit.
Speaker B:I'd love for you to share about your journey with inner child work in terms of financially that piece.
Speaker A:I'm gonna take a sip of water, Vasey.
Speaker B:Please do.
Speaker A:This one's deep.
Speaker B:When we talk about the higher self that is your inner child is your higher self in child form.
Speaker A:It's so much.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So first of all, growing up, my mom didn't have much.
Speaker A:She met my dad at 14.
Speaker A:My grandmother had a bunch of kids, and she was just not paying attention to my mom.
Speaker A:And she's just like, whatever, go do your thing.
Speaker A:She married my dad super young, had me at 19.
Speaker A:My mom did not need to be with my dad.
Speaker A:He was a cheater.
Speaker A:Eventually just went off and found his love drugs.
Speaker A:And then she popped out another kid.
Speaker A:She had my brother.
Speaker A:And she was just in this situation with a guy who continued.
Speaker A:Well, she married him.
Speaker A:A guy that continued to cheat on her.
Speaker A:She didn't have her family.
Speaker A:He eventually for drugs, he robbed her.
Speaker A:He took everything from the house.
Speaker A:She didn't have anything, and she didn't have support.
Speaker A:And I saw that.
Speaker A:I know my mom struggled a lot, and she just knew at that time that she was going to be alone and that no one was going to help her and little me.
Speaker A:That's what I grew up with.
Speaker A:I felt like I was going to struggle and I was never going to have support.
Speaker A:My mom taught me that.
Speaker A:She taught me that I couldn't rely on people.
Speaker A:Also, I couldn't rely on her because she was unreliable when I was a teenager.
Speaker A:And that was just the thing.
Speaker A:And so I became hyper independent.
Speaker A:And that worked until it didn't work.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And when I re.
Speaker A:When I really needed some real help, I was screwed because I had this way of thinking that I'm gonna have to do it alone.
Speaker A:I'm gonna have to white knuckle through this.
Speaker A:I was also sober, so I didn't have alcohol or drugs to help me.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And that was it.
Speaker A:I was alone in A dark room there, having to face my shit.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And it was scary because it wasn't just I'm sitting there crying, it was holding.
Speaker A:Holy shit.
Speaker A:I think there are demons here.
Speaker A:And really it's just my shadows.
Speaker A:But it felt like there were scary monsters in the room with me.
Speaker A:And what I came to realize was that those demons were my shadows.
Speaker A:They were the parts of me that I didn't want to look at, I didn't even know existed.
Speaker A:Therefore, I made them scary.
Speaker A:There were also my inner child.
Speaker A:I did a bufo ceremony a couple of years ago.
Speaker A:And while I was in ceremony, I had gone to the basement of my mind because I saw my house, my mind as a house.
Speaker A:And it was white up top, and then the bottom kind of just got gray, gray, gray, and then went black towards the basement.
Speaker A:And I'm in the basement looking around because I sense that there's something there.
Speaker A:And I'm feeling like something weird is going on.
Speaker A:And I turn around and I can see this really scary figure shadow on the wall.
Speaker A:And I'm like, holy fuck, I need to get out of here.
Speaker A:And I'm so scared.
Speaker A:And I'm looking and I'm like, I cannot turn away.
Speaker A:I have to see what this is.
Speaker A:And it's just little Christina doing like this shadow puppets on the wall.
Speaker A:It's just me.
Speaker A:And I just, like in Ceremony, I'm laughing because that's who it's always been.
Speaker A:I villainized myself.
Speaker A:I made myself be this scary thing.
Speaker A:But also little me had to become the scary thing to protect myself.
Speaker A:So I made friends with her and then told her that I'm here to protect her.
Speaker A:And that was a long process.
Speaker A:It started then a couple of years ago with me meeting her, saying, hi, we have a cat, and we live in Mexico.
Speaker A:This is during that time.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And then visiting her and letting her feel trust again.
Speaker A:And so that's what took a while, her building that trust with me.
Speaker A:And even though it's me with me, it still needed to happen.
Speaker A:I still needed to rebuild that trust within myself.
Speaker A:And when the money started to dwindle away, which was during that time in Mexico, that kind of threw a monkey wrench into the trust.
Speaker A:That relationship, it.
Speaker A:That connection that I was building broke.
Speaker A:I stopped visiting myself, I stopped my practice.
Speaker A:And I focused on the fear of not having.
Speaker A:What am I going to do?
Speaker A:Am I going to be homeless in Mexico?
Speaker A:I don't really have people here.
Speaker A:I don't.
Speaker A:I, like, can't just get on a plane and go home.
Speaker A:I don't know what I'm going to do.
Speaker A:And that fear took over and eventually I came back to the state and I worked on rebuilding that relationship.
Speaker A:I knew that it had to happen, but there was just so much.
Speaker A:There were so many blocks that I put in the way.
Speaker A:And finally I started to melt away the blocks Sit with myself and apologize for abandoning myself again and remind myself that I am safe, I am protected.
Speaker A:And then really sit with what does safety feel like?
Speaker A:What do I need now?
Speaker A:What did I need then too?
Speaker A:And I needed my mom to tell me that it was okay.
Speaker A:I needed my mom to tell me that I didn't have to do it alone all the time.
Speaker A:I needed her sometimes to just sit with me and hold my hand.
Speaker A:And that's what I did.
Speaker A:Yeah, and that right there is what helped.
Speaker A:And there were some steps from the book Existential Kink that helped.
Speaker B:I want to take this time to thank you for having the bravery to face your shit and heal yourself by listening to this show.
Speaker B:Because this is more than just a podcast.
Speaker B:This is a movement and a necessary one.
Speaker B:If you've looked around at the world today, if you want to live the movement or you want to go deeper into your healing journey, I pulled together everything I wish that I would have had so practical Tools, longevity and biohacking Resources, Insights, pain relief tips, healing practices, all the things most doctors won't tell you about into one beautifully designed free ebook.
Speaker B:Inside, you'll learn how to work with your cycle or with your body instead of fighting against it.
Speaker B:What the mainstream gets Wrong about pms, Endometriosis and Hormonal health why Pain is a Messenger, not a malfunction plus curated direct links with all of the juicy golden episodes that started it all.
Speaker B:Whether you're navigating chronic illness, endometriosis, burnout or hormonal chaos, this free guide will help you start reclaiming your power, your body and your truth.
Speaker B:Download it instantly when you subscribe to my substack newsletter where I share raw stories, healing artwork and I write a badass email.
Speaker A:I was in a book club with friends and that really with all the other work that I was doing, the inner child work as well that transformed my money relationship because the practices from the Deepest Spirit Inventory, which is what I'm bringing into my membership within Cultish right now.
Speaker A:The girls, I told them were working on the Tower this month in the membership I have a membership called Via Rubram which means the Red Path.
Speaker A:And like girls, you better hold onto your hats because the Tower is bringing Everything down.
Speaker A:But in it, we're doing it in a.
Speaker A:We're not the victims of the tower, you know, we're here for the collapse.
Speaker A:We're walking up to the edge.
Speaker A:But yeah, just rebuilding the trust with my inner child and giving her what she needed then she never had and, and returning to that practice.
Speaker A:And during the practices there was a meditation that I, I remember trying to do on a daily basis and failing each time because I, I couldn't, I just couldn't get into it.
Speaker A:And I remember one day just sitting and being like, I can't believe.
Speaker A:So I'm sitting in meditation pose and I'm like, show me.
Speaker A:And it just goes black in my mind and I just see myself walking in a dark room and it's black for a while and I continue to walk down and I see two girls.
Speaker A:One is my 14 year old self and the other is my 7 year old self.
Speaker A:And they're there and I get on my knees and I'm greeting them and talking to them.
Speaker A:The 14 year old self has an attitude.
Speaker A:She's oh, now you're here.
Speaker A:And the seven year old is more welcoming.
Speaker A:She seems scared.
Speaker A:And I just chat with them until I felt complete.
Speaker A:They start to warm up to me.
Speaker A:And that was my void.
Speaker A:My void practice, my void meditation.
Speaker A:I returned to that practice every day for about six months to help me rebuild my relationship with them.
Speaker A:And then within that practice seeing different things, like giving them things that they need.
Speaker A:So one day would be me asking them, what is it that you want?
Speaker A:We have all the money in the world.
Speaker A:What do you want?
Speaker A:The 7 year old wants ice cream.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:The 14 year old wants to go shopping.
Speaker A:All right, where do you want to go first?
Speaker A:So I have a car.
Speaker A:I don't know how to drive in real life, but I have a car in my, in my void practice.
Speaker A:And so we just go on this voyage where I'm taking her shopping and just giving them what they want and getting out of this void practice like feeling so fucking good.
Speaker A:Imagine giving your inner child whatever she wants.
Speaker A:And it almost feels like you're rewriting the past and you're rewriting the story and it, I don't know, it just changes something in you.
Speaker B:Yeah, we are giving to you.
Speaker A:You're giving.
Speaker B:You're like reclaiming what you never got.
Speaker B:You're claiming your birthright of abundance like outside of, you know, all the up systems were born into and our parents and other people and they're born into the same fucked up system and they have their Own fucked up problems.
Speaker B:And it's like all of this passed down generational illness and disease and then.
Speaker B:And we're carrying that as we're born.
Speaker B:And by doing this, it's like your reclamation of what is true, what is real, which is you.
Speaker B:It's like always about the issue or the solution between you and you, because it's.
Speaker B:And even outside of that, it's all one.
Speaker B:So it's like, you know, we have these problems, but it really usually always goes back to you.
Speaker B:You know, it's like whenever you have a problem, who's always there?
Speaker B:You, there's never an escape from.
Speaker B:Even when we think that there is, we're just like racking up the debt that we're gonna have to fucking pay off.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And it comes out in different ways.
Speaker A:That's true.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Incredible what you've been through, what you've shared.
Speaker B:If you could have a gigantic billboard getting a message out to millions or billions of people with anything on it, maybe advice to your younger self, maybe advice to people that are on a similar path.
Speaker B:Maybe not.
Speaker B:What would it say and why?
Speaker A:The two things that come up are very simple and almost like I want to say that they're so cheesy.
Speaker A:But the first thing that came up was I see you.
Speaker A:And the other one was, you're not alone.
Speaker A:And why that came up was I could sense myself when I was going through the heaviness.
Speaker A:And if I was walking through Times Square, just feeling the weight of it all and look up and see that, I think I would have just melted.
Speaker B:Yeah, same.
Speaker B:That's what really so much of our fundamental needs.
Speaker B:Just being seen and heard.
Speaker B:Just being seen and heard for who we are.
Speaker B:How can you really be held or be seen and be.
Speaker B:Or be loved without feeling like you're being seen?
Speaker B:And it just seeps into all these other things.
Speaker B:It's powerful.
Speaker A:That's all we wanted.
Speaker A:That's all I wanted, to be seen.
Speaker A:I think that if that.
Speaker A:That missing piece was available.
Speaker A:My mom says this thing that I can't stand and I wish she would stop and rewire this, but it's always coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Speaker A:And I don't believe in that.
Speaker A:I don't believe in that.
Speaker A:But because I don't have regrets and.
Speaker A:And I don't believe in like even that saying, if this, then that things are.
Speaker A:And we work with what things are.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:But yes.
Speaker A:And this is why we do better.
Speaker A:So if I were to have children, I'll do my best to see my.
Speaker B:Kids absolutely and to that point, coulda, woulda, shoulda.
Speaker B:This language, and I call it the slave language in our culture, where it's like the financial enslavement begins with language.
Speaker B:What would you say?
Speaker B:Like, someone is wanting to change that they're in this place.
Speaker B:They're totally in the coulda, woulda, shoulda.
Speaker B:They're totally, like, in the language of lack.
Speaker B:They're not in a good place financially.
Speaker B:Where would you say they start.
Speaker A:Taking note of what they're saying?
Speaker A:I guess a lot of times they don't even know.
Speaker A:First, I want to offer your audience my.
Speaker A:It's called Spellbound, my workbook.
Speaker A:For free.
Speaker A:Get it for free.
Speaker A:It's so important.
Speaker A:Another, what I want to add, I think that I should make a part two of that is.
Speaker A:And I've been hearing this a lot, and actually Bashar talks about this.
Speaker A:I have the clip of it somewhere.
Speaker A:But someone talks about the term easier said than done.
Speaker A:He's like, that's not a law.
Speaker A:It's not a law.
Speaker A:That's not a law anywhere.
Speaker A:Easier said than done.
Speaker A:And I heard that, and I was like, huh?
Speaker A:And we create these laws and we don't even realize.
Speaker A:Or someone did.
Speaker A:And then we think that it's a law and it's passed down like a law, and we just implement that shit and we don't ask questions.
Speaker A:It's like this story that I once heard of a woman who was baking a cake with her daughter.
Speaker A:And the mom and daughter are going through all the steps.
Speaker A:She has the sheet pan, and at one point, the mother, like, takes the.
Speaker A:The cake out and she cuts it in half.
Speaker A:Oh, no, she.
Speaker A:Something about her cutting it in half.
Speaker A:This instead of using the bigger sheet pan, something like that.
Speaker A:And the daughter said, why are you cutting it in half?
Speaker A:She's like, oh, that's the way it's always been done.
Speaker A:I usually, like, have two or cut it in half or something.
Speaker A:And she's like that we have a big oven.
Speaker A:Like, why can't you just put the.
Speaker A:You know, use the whole thing?
Speaker A:And she's like, oh, let me just ask.
Speaker A:And she calls her mom and she's like, why did we always do it this way?
Speaker A:And the mom, the.
Speaker A:The younger girl's grandma is like, because we had a small oven, so we had to cut it in half.
Speaker A:But the mother didn't know that.
Speaker A:And so she was doing this now her whole life without even asking why.
Speaker A:And then about to pass it along to her daughter, who a wise girl, asked a question.
Speaker A:Imagine she didn't even ask the question, and she would have just kept doing it and then passed it along to her daughter.
Speaker A:And that's how she gets passed down.
Speaker A:Nobody asks questions.
Speaker A:So when you ask, why are we doing it like this.
Speaker A:This is weird.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Any sense.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Like the work you do.
Speaker B:Like you're asking, okay, but why?
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:And it's like the layers.
Speaker B:Okay, why?
Speaker B:Okay, this answer.
Speaker B:Okay, why?
Speaker A:That answer?
Speaker B:It's so important to ask why.
Speaker B:It's how you even get to the truth of any truth of anything.
Speaker B:It's like one of the most important questions you can ask.
Speaker B:Why am I doing this for every single damn action that you take.
Speaker A:Yeah, but, you know, I think people are afraid of the answer.
Speaker B:That's true.
Speaker B:Because then if they know, it means they may have to act.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:They may have to take responsibility.
Speaker B:You're right about that.
Speaker B:Oh, totally.
Speaker B:Totally.
Speaker A:And that also made me think about.
Speaker A:Some people don't want to get out of poverty.
Speaker A:They don't want it.
Speaker B:They don't want to.
Speaker B:It serves them.
Speaker A:Yeah, the story serves them.
Speaker A:I'm thinking about someone in particular who has a story that they say they don't like.
Speaker A:They don't like the way that they're living, yet they complain about it day in and day out.
Speaker A:They talk about not having the money for support, and support is made available to them for free at all times, and they don't take it.
Speaker A:And they continue to make time and space available to rant about the things that they don't like.
Speaker A:And so I see things like that, and I'm like, you like this.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And that.
Speaker A:You know, in the book Existential Kink, they talk about having, as evidence of wanting, you get something out of it.
Speaker A:There's a kink involved in.
Speaker A:Hard to.
Speaker A:Hard to swallow for a lot of people.
Speaker A:Definitely was hard for me to accept that I was enjoying it at some level.
Speaker B:At some level.
Speaker B:At some level it is.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And I mean, you can hold both.
Speaker B:You can have, like, both parts.
Speaker B:I mean, we have the whole universe inside.
Speaker B:It's not like.
Speaker B:But to become aware of those parts that are siphoning energy, because that's essentially what's happening when you're complaining about and you're not doing anything about it.
Speaker B:You are siphoning energy.
Speaker B:You're vamping.
Speaker A:You're vamp.
Speaker B:Vampirically siphoning energy from other people, from the experience, from life.
Speaker B:Because it's like this emptiness.
Speaker B:And you're never gonna get full.
Speaker B:You're never, ever gonna get full.
Speaker A:No, it's like breadcrumbing that experience.
Speaker A:You're gonna just get a little hit each time, like doing drugs.
Speaker A:You're, you know, it's gonna.
Speaker A:The high is only gonna last but for so long.
Speaker A:And then even that, like the breadcrumbing, the high, it's.
Speaker A:It's all like low level.
Speaker A:Not good.
Speaker A:Not.
Speaker A:It's not fulfilling.
Speaker A:It does not.
Speaker A:It doesn't take you anywhere.
Speaker A:You don't fly from there.
Speaker B:Yeah, you don't, not one bit.
Speaker B:But speaking of flying, we're gonna fly over to my favorite part of the show.
Speaker B:It is the finale.
Speaker B:Biohacking with art Question.
Speaker B:Are you ready?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Play it on.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:You're born ready.
Speaker B:If you could describe the power of the dark feminine.
Speaker B:Well, approach and create it as an art piece, how would you make it and what would you choose?
Speaker A:Oh.
Speaker A:Huh.
Speaker A:If it were an art piece, what would it be and how would I make it?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:He could be any medium.
Speaker B:Doesn't even have to be visual.
Speaker B:Could be a mix.
Speaker B:Could be an installation.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:It is a metal sculpture made with lasers shot from the eyes.
Speaker A:So laser beams out the eyes.
Speaker B:Holy shit.
Speaker A:Dark feminine woman.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:Holy crap.
Speaker B:We took red and black to a whole nother level.
Speaker B:Oh my God.
Speaker B:Let's go, let's go there.
Speaker A:But a metal sculpture of the David just made with the laser beam eyes.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Would it be like a sculpture?
Speaker B:Would it be David or would it be a woman?
Speaker A:I guess it was.
Speaker A:It's like, I don't know, a woman remaking that.
Speaker A:I would make it with a more well endowed.
Speaker A:Something better to look at.
Speaker B:Got you, got you.
Speaker B:That's awesome guy.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:All these years, all these sculptures.
Speaker A:So sad.
Speaker A:The little tiny fig leaf on it.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I mean, you know, the church, this is a whole other episode.
Speaker B:The church, just the church.
Speaker B:The church.
Speaker B:The whole other episode.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because the church is behind a lot of the slave language that you hear today in financial enslavement.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:That's really cool though.
Speaker B:The metal.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:With lasers out of the eyes.
Speaker B:All right, we'll go there.
Speaker B:Would it stare at whoever's looking at it?
Speaker B:It would stare back.
Speaker A:He's submissive to the goddess.
Speaker B:Okay, whichever.
Speaker A:Whichever goddess.
Speaker A:Inanna, maybe, Perhaps.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:This is like so wild.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker A:This is where there are no rules.
Speaker B:There are no rules.
Speaker B:No rules in art.
Speaker B:That's why we love it.
Speaker B:That's crazy.
Speaker B:That's so cool though.
Speaker B:And I mean, listen, the polarities of energy, being masculine and feminine have nothing to do with what's between your legs.
Speaker B:So I think having that speaks to that, that it.
Speaker B:It's not anyone.
Speaker B:The dark feminine.
Speaker B:And we talked about a little bit.
Speaker B:The darkness is just what is unseen.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:The void is all creation comes from.
Speaker B:The void comes from, you know, like, what we don't.
Speaker B:So it's like the way that we've branded dark and light.
Speaker B:I think this sculpture just collapsed, like, just totally obliterates a lot of that, even though it is, I think, classically.
Speaker A:What people would consider dark.
Speaker B:But what I'm saying is that.
Speaker A:But this is not coming specifically from the darkness of my mind.
Speaker B:Exactly, exactly.
Speaker B:So it's very real.
Speaker B:But that's a part of, like, the dark feminine.
Speaker B:And it's found no matter what's between your legs, no matter if you're a man, no matter if you're a woman, no matter what that.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:The shadow and integration, it's lifelong.
Speaker B:Like, it's as the universe expands.
Speaker B:As we expand, the universe expands and it's never ending.
Speaker B:It just gets, like, in a sense, you get more comfortable or you get, like, better at being on the battlefield.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So true.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Holy shit.
Speaker B:It's been so real chatting with you today.
Speaker A:I don't feel going over time, but I can talk all day with you.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker B:I know, it's awesome.
Speaker B:And that's a.
Speaker B:That's another thing that I found about your work, that I felt so connected.
Speaker B:And when you guys sign up or get sigils of sovereignty or experience any of Cairo's work, it is like a remembering.
Speaker B:It's not even like a learning.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:Yes, it is a learning, but it's more of a remembering than anything else.
Speaker B:It's a learning to this body, but it's like you feel connected through that feminine essence too.
Speaker B:Not only you, but I feel like people in general, because we all know these things.
Speaker B:No one's talking about them.
Speaker B:You're talking about them.
Speaker B:You have this incredible membership.
Speaker B:How can people begin to connect with you?
Speaker B:We're going to list all this in the show notes, but how would you say is the best way to connect with you?
Speaker A:I paused here because I'm like, well, I have two identities.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:My.
Speaker A:My main business is under my name, Christina Zayas.
Speaker A:And that is cultish.
Speaker A:And C u l t E-S-H.com and the Instagram is the same cultish.
Speaker A:And I have my membership there.
Speaker A:July is the tower.
Speaker A:We're working on destruction at our own hand.
Speaker A:We're not the victims of the destruction happening to us.
Speaker A:This is inevitable.
Speaker A:Destruction happens instead of waiting for it to happen to us and just sitting around and thinking, oh, my God, my life is going to fall apart.
Speaker A:We're there, stepping up to it, looking into the eye of our own, you know, hurricane, our own storm, and.
Speaker A:And preparing ourselves with the tools.
Speaker A:So that's what's happening at Cultish and with dark feminine codes.
Speaker A:How you found me, my side project, I guess.
Speaker A:And that's where I talk about wealth, embodiment and the dark feminine.
Speaker A:I have some workbooks there.
Speaker A:I have what you would get for free is spellbound.
Speaker A:And that is, I believe, the rewriting the language of lack.
Speaker A:I also have my free sigils of sovereignty book and a few more.
Speaker A:I have something new called it's like a 21 day challenge.
Speaker A:I also have 14 days of email coaching.
Speaker A:Just a lot of ways to help you in your money journey.
Speaker B:Perfect.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And so useful because it's in real life, it's really like you're living your life and the shit comes up and here you go.
Speaker B:And like, that's so much.
Speaker B:I appreciate that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's not from this cerebral place of like, okay, here, look at this and then like, go apply this like you're living it and doing it.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Walk that walk.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Hell yeah.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:I feel like I have no choice.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:I've been made to.
Speaker A:I've been built this way.
Speaker B:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker B:Same.
Speaker B:And I hope everyone is able to not only walk the walk, but to take away something from this wealthy dark feminine conversation today to help them go out, face their shit and heal themselves.
Speaker B:And remember, as always, the truth will set you free.
Speaker B:We will see you all next time.
Speaker A:Bye.
Speaker B:If you liked this episode or if you think this show would be useful for someone else, the best way you can show your support is to share it on your social media outlets with family and friends, or leave a review on podchaser.com, comment on YouTube or Apple Podcasts.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for listening and for having the bravery to face your shit and heal yourself.
